I entered 2012 believing I had really arrived as a leader, so I decided it was time to put myself out there for people outside my immediate circle to see; thus this blog was born. I’ve had some fun writing it (when I wasn’t being too lazy to not write it), and I’ve been authentic about my journey, which is why it was really tough to admit to myself recently that my original premise was false. That realization broke me. Arriving is worth celebrating only when the destination matches the dot on the map.
Being broken really hurts. Being confronted with personal failure causes cracks to form in the polished image you crafted for yourself on the outside, while simultaneously shattering your ego & self-confidence on the inside. Assigning blame is easy…I am totally responsible for where I ended up; not only was I the driver of the bus, I was the travel agent who planned the trip, the tour guide who slept through the trip and the mapmaker who relied on inaccurate survey data.
The restoration has begun, more slowly than I would like, but I trust in the plan of the Builder.