After a very lengthy absence I’m back in the blogging arena. I wish I could say that I stopped for a good reason, but the reality is that 1) I lack the discipline to write every day, and 2) I came to believe that it didn’t matter whether or not I had anything to say. That’s not very inspiring but it’s true.
I was originally going to title this post “Blogging is Hard,” then changed it to “Blogging is Easy,” then decided that neither really captured the essence of what I was feeling. For me, writing is a blessing and a curse. I have a strong desire to express myself, and I think that I’m good at it, but I tend to find myself focusing on editing what I’ve already written, rather than finishing the present narrative, and so writing often feels more like running on a treadmill than running towards a destination.
In college I would sit down to write something, get mad that it wasn’t as good as Hemingway and give up after a paragraph or two. Today I begin to formulate an idea and hear a voice whisper “you’re kidding yourself by thinking that anyone cares what you have to say about anything, why even bother?” And so not only does writing require the discipline to physically sit down and do it, but it requires that we are disciplined in our belief in our calling, as well as the One who calls us.
We may never know that, at just the right time, someone needed to read something we wrote. That possibility alone is worth the risk of putting ourselves out there…if we’re disciplined enough to do it.